Science jokes that will make you cringe and giggle
Which is your favorite?
Thank you, everyone, who took part in submitting these outstanding jokes to Doctor Anna’s Imaginarium!
A Higgs Boson walks into a church and the priest says “You can’t be in here”.
The Higgs Boson says “But without me, how will you have mass?”
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.
Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.
Pascal is nowhere to be seen.
Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He’s sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.
Einstein says “Newton, you’re terrible, I’ve found you!”
Newton says “No, you’ve found Pascal!”
So, a group of logicians walk into a bar. The bartender says “so, y’all want a beer” and the first says “I don’t know”, and the second says “I don’t know”, and the third one says “Yes!”
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”
I was going to tell one about sodium but Na, all the good ones Argon.
If at first, you fail, do it three or four more times so your failure is statistically significant.
Doctor Anna’s favorite:
A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out duck hunting when a duck suddenly appears.
The biologist takes the shot but misses one meter to the right.
The chemist also takes a shot but misses one meter to the left.
The statistician is overjoyed: “We got him!!”
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and an anal one?
Oxygen and Potassium went on a date. It was just OK.
A mystic is someone who wants to understand the universe but is too lazy to study physics.
There are only 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don’t.
A proton walks into a Bar and says to the tender
– I lost my electron
– Are you sure?
– Yes, I’m positive
So, a group of scientists go into a bar, the first one orders a pint, the second one orders 1/2 a pint, and the third one orders 1/4 of a pint. The bartender stops them and hands over two pints, saying “you nerds just don’t know your limits”
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are at a conference together. In the middle of the night in each of their hotel rooms (by some weird coincidence) a fire breaks out. The physicist is the first to wake up, they put it out with their blanket and goes back to bed. The engineer then wakes up and puts it out with an ice bucket filled with water. The mathematician sits up in bed, sees the fire and says “a solution exists” and goes back to sleep
How much room is needed for fungi to grow?
As mushroom as possible.
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He’s 0K now.
The tachyon particle orders a beer.
A tachyon particle goes to a bar.
Two photons walk into a black hole…
What’s the best element to go fishing for? 2 Na.
Oxygen and Magnesium went on a date. OMg!
This action has been in collaboration with the radio show Technically Funny in Barcelona, Spain. Tune in for science news and a load of fun!
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