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How I realized that my sex life is quite vanilla

The sex life of animals is bubble gum ice cream topped with chocolate topped with mango-cactus with sprinkles of viagra on top. If you are fed up with boring Tinder threesomes, do it like the red-sided garter snake. The female releases a pheromone and attracts every male red-sided garter snake in the neighborhood. The female ends up in the middle of an enormous pile of male snakes; each attributed with two penises. The male snakes apparently go so nuts that they will enter any building located on top a mating pit. There have been a few incidences where families have come downstairs only to discover 500 snakes having an orgy in their kitchen.